Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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