We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
