Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
