this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
