The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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