just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
