the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize