My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
