he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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