My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
