like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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