So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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