My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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