So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize