Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
