this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
