you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
