well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
