using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
