dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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