You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Actions speak louder than pants.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
