apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
