the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
