there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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