You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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