I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
