Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
