He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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