who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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