wat bout pragnant strippers??
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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