just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
