i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
