She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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