Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
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