So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
