he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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