i barfeds in our rink
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
