WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
