my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
They took my balls.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
