she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize