Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
