Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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