He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
