her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
