I want to have your abortion
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
