He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
