if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
