just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
