onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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