Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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