I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
