My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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