when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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