I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
