What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
