There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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