make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
